Missing browndog

I'm aching for something familiar. Anything. I know I am incredibly fortunate to have this opportunity but it feels like a weight pushing down on my chest sometimes.

I knew that I'd have some tough nights ahead of me. I wish I could just fall asleep with my face buried in brown.




I am remembering parts about myself. Like getting to know an old friend over again. Remembering who I was before it was all turned upside down me. Before my coping methods began to fail me.

In my practice, my philosophy master said that in this life we are battling our karmic actions from a previous life. The only thing we can do when we struggle and suffer is to try to be a better person than our suffering. To love no matter who or what it is. Love it because it's a part of you, you are the only person who can change it for your next life.

But for just the next few minutes I want to just cry. Wish and ache for a little bit of strength to just sit in this moment and know that there is some greater purpose for my suffering.





























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