My normal talisman fell from my neck years ago. I'm always on the lookout for something or someone to throw my faith into. Some kind of throwaway object to hang my dreams in, offer me protection from my demons or fix those dark recesses of me that I feel are broken.
As I'm getting ready to leave for the next six months I will my pour my devotion into 4 new items that I have carefully hung around my neck and arms. I try to tell myself they are just cheap alternatives to jewelry but I know they aren't. I make myself promise that I'll shed one with each step forward. That I'll try to not replace them with Indian look-a-likes.
I know I will need to dig in, look inward, forgive myself for perceived misgivings and letting go of my attraction to perennially bad behaviour. I don't want drugs, booze or men who don't actually love me to rule my life anymore. I know I'll be faced with hard truths, deep insights and no one to count on but myself.
I start thinking about large, sweeping goals and decide on one simple and challenging task; to not fall asleep in shivasana. With my days swapped for nights literally I think this is a small and manageable goal. Thinking in baby steps I remember Liz Gilbert's advice; ruin is the vehicle of change. If you want the castle you have to swim the moat.
So I'm diving in, faced with loneliness and sadness but at the end acceptance I accept the challenge and leave my fate all up to the person who has the power to change it...me.

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Location:Frankfurt to India